


Love Goes // Joshtin

by IntoTheBlueNights



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Character Death, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Tags Are Hard, What Have I Done, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27604952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoTheBlueNights/pseuds/IntoTheBlueNights
Summary: but then Love Goes
Relationships: Justin De Dios/Josh Cullen Santos
Kudos: 7





	Love Goes // Joshtin

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to post this on au fest by Jnj but I was not able to finish it on time and it's very short. Im sorry, this mentions death and suicide 😭😭 soooooo if you're uncomfortable with it, please please please avoid. Thank you! You can follow me also on twitter @SBlues19

All it takes was a one shot, to finish it all at once. One shot of the bullet, to get it all done. One shot, and his lifeline will end to none.

Dark thoughts filled his mind as he looks at the trigger that could end him anytime. He laughed at it maniacally, hoping against hope he can get the job done.

**_We dont ever wanna say goodbye_ **

**_Love goes, love goes, love goes_ **

**_Theres no answer to the question why_ **

**_Love goes, love goes, love goes_ **

"If I die, will you promise to restart your life again? Even if it's not with me?" Jah asked as they made their way to the hospital.

He was due for his monthly check up, and Josh went with him.

Josh held his hand then kissed it. "No talks of dying, love. We'll face this together. No one's dying on anyone, ok?"

**_I've been too many places_ **

**_and everywhere I go_ **

**_I could see all the traces_ **

**_the happiness written_ **

**_in both of our faces_ **

**_Forced to embrace the fact_ **

**_that reality made this, erases_ **

The sun was glaring too much from where he was kneeling. Silence filling the air as he let their memories flood his mind. Reminiscing of what was, as he tightened his hold of the gun.

"Will you forgive me for what I'm going to do, my love? Huh, of course you won't. You must be shaking your head right now, as you watch what I'm about to do. But I have to do this, cause this is othe only way I get to be with you." he smiled bitterly, he would never receive his answer. Never again.

_**And I hate this, oh God, I hate this** _

_**Everytime I close my eyes** _

_**All I see is your face** _

_**I missed your kiss** _

_**The warmth Im in blissed** _

_**I feel the pain and it's insane** _

_**Help me, wont you take this?** _

He promised to fight with him, yet was the one to give up first. How could he live with the memory of being left behind, how could he could he restart his life without him?

Ringing of a phone filled the once silent place, must be some of their friends checking up on him. They were constantly hovering around him, as if they know he's already on the verge of giving up.

Of course they're right, but he was never upfront about it. He doesnt want to add more to the list of their worries.

_Till death do us part_

He can still hear him saying, the vows echoes through his head atleast 10x a day since he left.

"I'm sorry, love. But I can't let death. I can't let it tore us apart. See you in the other side, my love."

Then he pulled the trigger.

* * *

A loud shrill from his phone woke Justin up.

Still groggy with sleep, he covered his ears with his pillow, wishing the noise will go away. It really should be illegal to wake up early.

He was about to doze off again when someone suddenly tickled him, knowing which spots to go for.

"J-Josh!" Justin whined in between laughter. Why does he have to punish him like this?

"Jah, 7am na. Gising na, maaga pa schedule natin today," Josh said after stopping his attack and just hugged him tightly.

"Ayoko pa, hayaan mo sila Sejun dun. I had a bad dream, gusto ko nalang magpacomfort sa'yo today." Jah then hugged Josh back, tighter. Afraid that his dreams might come true.

"A bad dream? Ano ba yun?" Josh asked, feeling the anxiety from Jah's voice. It must have been something so horrid for the younger to be acting clingy early in the morning.

"Iniwan mo raw ako."

Josh chuckled, the probability of that happening is next to none. He then put a little distance between them, stared into the younger's eyes, hoping to convey his sincerity.

"Iniwan? I would never do that to you, and you know that, Jah."

Jah pouted then with determination, said "Alam ko, but it felt so real. I was planning to end my life because of your death. Josh, please promise me. Promise me you won't leave me behind."

"Love, I promise you. Okay? That was just a bad dream. Pero can we promise to each othwr? That whoever gets left behind due to things out of our control, that we'll move on. Please promise me you won't do that thing you did in your dream, please?"

"Yes, love. I promise." Jah then smiled for the first time that day. Maybe leaving it just as a dream would be good for his sanity.

"Good, now stop practicing LG at night time. Kung ano ano na pumapasok sa isipan mo."

_**You're the one I love the only one I'll never say goodbye.** _


End file.
